We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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