Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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