uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
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