The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
