If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Omg I joined a choir last night...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
