You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just found puke in my bra..
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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