My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
