I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
