Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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