Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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