Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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