yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
