You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
