Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
did i walk over a car last night?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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