I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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