Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
