Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
