we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
