yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
