wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
