idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize