just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I have aggressive nipples.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize