apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
How external is "for external use only"?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
