Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
