my sisters under your porch take her home
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
