your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
