Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
