That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he thought i was a dude.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
