just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
