i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
My balls are so social today.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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