then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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