who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
