We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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