Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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