you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
