I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize