My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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