i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
