This is not my ceiling
I am puke
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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