I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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