Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize