if i can run in heels then i can drive
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
