I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
