is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
