I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
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