She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
