How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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