What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
