Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
