I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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