and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
