theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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