i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It's blow job season.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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