It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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