ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
do herpes really smell.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize