I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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