...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
