Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
