Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize