"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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