I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize