He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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