So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
