DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
