My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
