But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
