You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
